Exhibit A: Clones, July 1993, what was to become known as the mudbath Ulster (SFC) Final. How St Tiarnach’s Park was ever passed as playable I’ll never know. It can only be assumed whoever arrived at the decision came from a land of draught.
Exhibit B: Dunboyne, May, 2002. A hotly anticipated local derby between our lot and Dunshaughlin. Yes, it had pissed rain all night beforehand, but, keeping in mind the time of year, there’s no way it wasn’t playable.
But, lo and behold, our opponents had their ‘favourite’ whistler and hadn’t a number of their top stars. Waterlogged!
Exhibit C: Dunsany, 2005, and it could be quite easily categorised as the exact opposite of what was laid out above. Yes, we were dead keen for the particular match to go ahead and, being honest, the whistler in question had never done us any harm. Game on!
Which was grand until there was cause for a hop ball, except the ball wouldn’t hop! So, in a novel, unique solution, an reitoir decided to engage in what could best be described as a bowling action to allow both sides have a player battle for the pigskin.
Needless to say, those in the other corner were none too impressed with said outcome. With a very prominent member of their ensemble (very) audibly declaring “That’s not a f*****g hop ball” to which one of our club’s most ardent advocates retorted, equally loudly if not more so, “Ah hop your f*****g sister”!
Cue utter bedlum, as we won on a pitch that was in NO WAY playable. By a point!
Exhibit D: Anywhere in Leinster you care to mention during the opening weekend of the 2026 intercounty season. D (1) The outcome of the Westmeath-Longford O’Byrne Cup tie being decided by a coin toss.
(2) After the original venue for the Westmeath-Kilkenny Walsh Cup encounter was ruled out and the match switched to an all-weather pitch, Kilkenny refuse to line out.
(3) Moving outside of Leinster, it appears there is still quite the way to go before integration of the GAA/LGFA/Camogie Association can even be contemplated. Judging by the fact that, while the men’s All Ireland Junior and Intermediate Club football finals were taking place in Croke Park, the SENIOR equivalent in camogie was played out on a three quarter frozen Pairc Ui Chaoimh. Inequality much?
Exhibit E: Against all odds, Kingspan Breffni Park being (rightly) declared fit for use yesterday (Sunday) for the All Ireland Club SFC semi final between St Brigid’s of Roscommon and Monaghan’s Scotstown. The irony? Cavan’s Joe McQuillan declaring a pitch unplayable before Christmas due to a puddle on the sideline.
The reason for mentioning all of the above? Can you see a patern?
That is to say, a farcical criss cross of inconsistency in how the GAA deal with certain issues. Most pertinently in this case, matters of equality between different groups within the overall Association itself.
Actually, stretching it to equality might be to over egg the pudding. They need to be able to deliver and maintain consistency in their dealings with people first of all. Having correctly reinstated the pre season competitions, they have, almost immeadiately, allowed them to be treated in a shamefully shambollic and degrading manner.
Deciding inter county fixtures by coin toss? Shame on you. It wouldn’t be tolerated in street league football, never mind the supposedly highest level. And all because the Association’s top administrators allow themselves be led around by the nose by those who are nothing but glorified sh*t stirrers. It’s worth noting that the organisation worked perfectly well for 115 years before these agitators poked their heads above the parapet.
It’s now clearly a case of the dog being wagged by the tail. Or maybe that should be Cat, given current prevailing circumstances. Mind you, even though the snowflakes would barf rather than admit as such, all this tomfoolery can be traced back to the parasitic poison that is the split season.
Trying to fit a bull elephant into a sheep trailer due to a supposed lack of grazing. Even though it’s January and the birds in the trees know grass won’t grow. However, if the GAA’s top brass – or the other slurry stirrers – continue to treat people like fools, they will end up looking like fools themselves.
How, you may ask. Well, the quite obvious player drain to other sports hardly needs any further illustration – Meath Minor footballer Mylo Stafford being the latest to be hijacked by foreign entities, Ulster Rugby in this case – but perhaps it’s time what a former Chairman of our club here in Dunboyne called the Paying People Of Ireland (PPI) to vote with their feet and keep their butts off seats.
But then, there are even further examples of those charged with driving the GAA forward from a Competitions Control perspective being, at the very least, stuck in a time warp. For instance, why in God’s name would you go back into the dark ages by playing matches over 30 minutes a half and then coming out with the utter scour about there being “No Room” in the calendar for re-fixtures.
Now, despite having serious reservations about some of the twaddle certain ‘experts’ chose to prattle on about with regard to all weather pitches, though it’s quite a few years since I was involved at committee level, it is my understanding that teams are not obliged to fulfil fixtures either on all weather surfaces or under floodlights. So, if that is still the case, Derek Lyng et al were well within their rights not to field.
As for the cr*p about there being no time to re-fix matches, the clue is in the name folks – Central COMPETITIONS CONTROL Committee. Ye can fix matches whatever way you want and have been doing so for decades. Grow a pair, bin the split season and stop kow-towing to egotists just trying to keep themselves relevant!