Do you remember the old Batman television series from years ago? The one in which Adam West played the ‘Caped Crusader’ and Burt Ward was his trusty sidekick Robin, aka ‘The Boy Wonder’. At the end of almost every episode, the Dynamic Duo would be left impaled in some precarious position in one of the phalanxes set by The Riddler or The Joker or, my personal favourite, The Penguin.
The premise being that viewers wouldn’t have to tune in the following week to see if they managed to extricate themselves from their impending doom. Which of course they always did. It was only recently this corner realised Adam West had in fact passed away in 2017, two months shy of his 89th birthday.
Pity, because yours truly was at the centre of a comedy of errors last night which the writers of either Batman or the Charlie Chaplin movies would’ve had a field day with. A brief synopsis – brother brings mother out for dinner to a favoured local eatery, leaving the occupant of this seat and his canine companion at the homestead.
Now, Mr Elvis is still such a rambunctious young man that it was felt more prudent to leave him outside with the run of the garden rather than run the risk of him getting caught under my wheels. However, though it might seem unlikely at best or perhaps actually impossible, it would have been easier to deal with the above scenario than what actually did transpire.
Allow me to explain. My canine companion is extremely protective of the occupant of this seat. To the point where he often leaves himself in danger. Lying right up against either my front or back wheels. Which often means I can’t even see where he is. He has copped on to the routine of things in fairness. Normally that means if I beep the horn on the chair he usually knows to get out of the way.
Mind you, the mischievous pup in him has now started to pull his bed right behind my wheels to ensure that even if he does move, I still can’t. Never in a billion years was it thought it would become an issue…until last night, that is!
Remember now, Des had put him out in the garden. What Mystic Meg couldn’t have foreseen what was to unfold. I can only assume it was in a form of protest that the dog bed was put right under my wheels, literally, before he was served with his eviction papers.
The thing is, I never would’ve known myself if the decision wasn’t taken to change the station once the live horse racing had finished for the evening and turn over to Liverpool’s Champions League encounter with AC Milan. Alas, without even knowing it, Elvi ensured I wasn’t going to see any football – or anything else – for a couple of hours!
Don’t ask me how, because if you uried to do it 100,000 times there’s no way it would happen again. Whilst attempting to reverse away from the computer and proceed to the table where the TV remote was, by ways known only to God himself, the back wheels of the wheelchair got stuck in the dog’s bed.
Meaning that, when I was trying to reverse the chair out of the bed, all that succeeded in doing was spinning me around in circles. As if that wasn’t bizarre enough, in my angst to untangle myself – and again, Einstein, Hawking and Sheldon Cooper combined couldn’t calculate just how this happend – the wheelchair ended up knocking itself out of gear.
With the result that I was literally stuck in the spot. Maybe not in the doghouse, but in his bed at least! Just far enough away from the table to leave phone, tablet and computer to leave them unreachable. Up a certain kind of creek without means of self propulsion!
So I called upon the only option open, tilted the chair back and had several multiples of 40 winks until my poor unfortunate carer came in and for a brief second that I was a little bit more than asleep!
That said, the following morning she had a bigger problem to contend with herself when one of the bovine lodgers at her residence voluntarily did some unsolicited lawn care. As for my own situation, to ensure there is never a replay of Wednesday night’s misadventure, the plan is to invest in a two-way radio set, one of which will be kept on board the wheelchair at all times. Mind you, it’s probably just as well there was no sound recording in either case the other night. 10:4 to that!