As much as I wish it was the case, the reappearance of the above line wasn’t brought about in the mind’s eye by the late, great Sean Nealon letting patrons know drinking time was in injury time. No, it came to mind when perusing the first weekend’s action in this year’s Premier League.
Looking at Nottingham Forest and Luton Town in particular. Albeit the headline needs a little revamp. To something like ‘You are indeed useful footballers, but you won’t get away with tip-tapping the ball around here’.
Watching both teams earnestly try to stick to what would be their staple diet football-wise at Championship level was to be reminded of the Jack Charlton with Ireland. The big Geordie knew what he had at his disposal. Or more pointedly what he hadn’t.
In other words, knowing his players wouldn’t be able to technically mix it with the opponents of the day. Thus, long direct ball became a happy convenience for them.
This weekend, the likes of Luton and Forest (yes they were up last year) will have learned the tough way that things happen about three gears faster at the highest levels.
Though they must get utterly sick of it at times, a certain cohort of clubs – usually the three who come up plus the likes of Crystal Palace, West Ham and, lately, Everton, are perennially linked with the drop.
That said, in the case of West Ham at least, this year such projections might be wide of the mark. Surely the fact that David Moyes’ side tasted success in Europe last season you’d imagine they’d be aiming a bit higher this term. Even though some will probably scoff at something like the Europa Conference League, but any competition is hard won.
Speaking of which, who are likely to be champions come next April or May? Is it merely a case of Manchester City clocking up four in a row as a matter of routine? Well, reasons why it won’t be are difficult to come by.
Yes, the inclination is that Arsenal are again best to give Pep the most headaches. In fact, they may be even more so with the acquisitions of Declan Rice and Jurrien Timber and Kai Havertz. If only because it gives Mikel Arteta the strength and depth any manager needs to build a squad capable of challenging for honours. And even at that, when trying to defrock a behemoth like City, they will have to pull a rabbit or three from the hatch to dislodge the incumbants.
Elsewhere, if there wasn’t so much bullsh** going on regarding them off the pitch, it might be a tad easier to give a decent assessment of the realistic prospects of the other half of Manchester. They weren’t a whole lot off being genuine contenders for the Premier League title la st year, but, in a game of inches, being one off is too much.
Though no pleasure is taken in musing the following, David De Gea and Harry Maguire – both wonderful servants in their own way – had ran their races in red even before last season. Then there are those who simply aren’t up to being at a club like United. Not to mention others who appear to be hanging round like a bad smell.
To his credit, Erik ten Hag appears to have copped the areas needing repair and acted thereon with the acquisitions of goalkeeper Onana from Inter Milan, Mason Mount swapping Stamford Bridge for Old Trafford and Rasmus Hoijlund to play up front. It could still be a case of a lot done, more to do.
So to Tottenham who are, of course, just getting used to life without Harry Kane. They do, however, have s solid setup at the back, the addition of James Maddison won’t do their prospects any harm.
Akin to the last named player, it’s a wonder none of the big clubs came in for the services of their new, seemingly jovial boss, Ange Postecoglou. Say what you want about Scottish football, his record thence was as good as any who have patrolled the sideline in Paradise in recent history.
Plus
Unlike Spurs’ previous two managers, he’s not prone to bouts of lunacy either!
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