The lunatics are trying to take over the asylum. Colm O’Rourke’s notions about splitting Dublin in two has finally been usurped as the most madcap, lampoonable sports proposal out there. By a doctor no less. Now read on…
The man Matt Chapman of Sky Sports and ITV Racing described as “The Good Doctor” – Newland that is. Good Doctor? I’d say more like The Nutty Professor!
In case you haven’t heard, the doc turned horse trainer reckons Irish trained horses should be banned from Cheltenham – I kid you not! Those grapes must be dunked in vinegar they’re that sour!
These things are cyclical. Yes, the Irish are absolutely well on top at present, but it’s well south of 100 years since the Irish went an entire Festival without a winner at all. So it’s not as if we’re marauding our way to world domination a la Vladimir Putin!
Perhaps noticing the idiocy of his initial utterance, the former Grand National winning handler then went on to suggest giving Ireland – or “Certain Irish trainers” a quota of how many horses they can run at The Festival. Lord, I wonder who might he be hinting at?
It will be admitted that I mentioned the idea of quotas for races here previously myself. But only in terms of Handicaps. For example, races such as the Paddy Power at Leopardstown or the Troytown or the Kerry National.
However, Dr Newland went completely asinine about the situation – whilst at the same time quoting another trainer as agreeing with him – in advocating at the very least a quota for Irish runners, if not a blanket ban thereon altogether.
The most ironic thing is, if the BHA and/or the Brains Trust at Cheltenham itself were depending on Dr Newland or his ilk to get footfall through the turnstiles, the seagulls would have plenty of parking spaces to choose from.
It is not balooning reality to point out that it’s the Irish who make the Cheltenham Festival what it is. Horses, trainers, jockeys, owners and, maybe most of all, the fans.
Furthermore, it’s hardly the fault of the Irish that, of the ‘home’ team, only Paul Nicholls, Nicky Henderson and, increasingly, Dan Skelton, can hold a candle to those from this side of the water at the moment.
Mind you, don’t be under any illusions here, if those currently preturbed by the damage the Mullins/Elliott duopoly – in particular – is doing to Cheltenham, if you wanted to look at it that way, ridiculous though such a stance undoubtedly is, you could look at Irish racing through the same lens and multiply it tenfold.
Of course such a viewpoint is horsesh**. By way of comparison, while I would have serious qualms about some of the advantages Dublin’s footballers have over their contemporaries, one couldn’t disagree with the protestations of former Dubs CEO John Costello when he wondered “What do people expect us to do, stop doing what’s working for us? “
No, it’s up to suitors to their throne to up their game and push on to whatever is the next level for themselves. And the same applies to those in racing trying to bridge the gap from Willie and Gordon to the rest.
You can’t blame either man for being exceptionally gifted at what they do. Or hold it against them either. But, just as Monaghan and Derry found a way to defeat Dublin earlier this season, Mullins and Elliott will be usurped someday too. All the Irish will be.
Just as Tom Dreaper was, so too Vincent O’Brien, Martin Pipe, Henderson, Nicholls and anybody else you care to mention. The delicious irony, however, is that, if the ‘Home’ team are to redress the balance, there’s a fair chance it will be with Irish bred stock!
One need only look at the fact that, at any bloodstock sale in this country, you are always likely to see top owners and/or trainers from the UK searching for the next Constitution Hill or Best Mate or Sea The Stars. Even at the Caldwell Construction dispersal sale, you had Anthony Bromley’s Highflyer Bloodstock and Harry Derham and, of course, Paul Nicholls, splashing major cash.
They may be well advised to enjoy it though, because if the likes of Dr Dick have their way, the only Irish thing allowed into Britain will be an episode of Father Ted!
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