That, ladies and gents, is an armchair view of and a survival kit for the rigors of an Irish General Election. He says as he begins keyboarding this piece at 2:28am on a Monday night/Tuesday morning. All a guilty pleasure. In one of life’s great contradictions, you’d have thought the introduction of E-Voting machines would’ve been a God send for somebody like me.
They were actually brought in for what was the first election I was legally able to vote in. The Locals and Europeans of 1999. But here’s the thing, in keeping with what those of my own age would term – only sometimes in jest – a fondness for being old fashioned, I hated the damn things. Yes, in practical terms, it made perfect sense. Drive the wheelchair over to the machine, hit the preferred candidate on the touch screen and that would be that.
What that also meant, though, was that the counting became a process of calculating which in turn meant, naturally, that the votes were tallied, counted and the seats were allocated by 10pm on the Friday night. Such a bore. There’s no suggestion that that was the reason Ministers of the day, Noel Dempsey and Martin Cullen, eventually got rid of them, but in my own curious way, I was thrilled to see the back of them as quick as they arrived, as to be honest, once I reached voting age and got registered, rather quickly, I became addicted to the whole political scene, and election counts in particular.
More than that, there was even a very brief flirtation with going for elected office myself, but once circumstance decreed that to be a non runner alternate avenues to remain involved in politics had to be discovered and explored. Not that one had to look too far, because, when my late friend, helper and inspirational colleague – and that of our entire community – Cllr. Damien O’Reilly – took his first steps on the journey which would absolutely have lead to political stardom, assisting him became not an extra job, but a labour of love.
Make no mistake, with the greatest of due respect to Helen McEntee, Tom Byrne, Darren O’Rourke, Gillian Toole or anybody else, he would absolutely have topped the poll and gone on to who knows what heights in Irish, European and/or global politics.
Sadly, those possibilities will only occupy the ‘what might have been’ shelf now. However, his story and legacy will live on eternally and is already doing so through the deeds of his wonderful cousin. She who is now Cllr. Caroline O’Reilly.
Naturally, none of us wanted to be in the position we found ourselves after that shattering day some 15 months ago, i.e., Caroline having to step up and attempt to fill the unquantifiable void left by the shock, devastating, untimely passing of the brightest star in local politics and many of our lives. And, not only has she excelled at doing the practically impossible, she has carried out her role with such aplomb that anything other than her addition to the Fianna Fail ticket in Meath East would’ve been nothing short of a travesty.
That said, even those of us with our finger on the pulse of local politics were left astounded by how well Caroline performed having, less than two years ago, having had no experience of political life whatever. To have received a handful less than 4000 votes as a first time runner in an election at that level speaks volumes of the impact Caroline has already had at local authority level.
So much so, that, if there is such a thing as a shoo-in in politics, she will absolutely belong in that category should she stand again whenever the next election happens to be.
For now though, in the case of Meath East at least, it’s an instance of if it aint broke, leave it alone, with the notable addition of Gillian Toole, once Fine Gael, whose genuine empathy for and commitment to her constituents has finally garnered the recognition and reward it has long deserved at a higher level.
Personally, while delighted and relieved to see Tom Byrne retain his seat, I cannot be the only one of that shade of green persuasion more than a bit preturbed by the fact that it took a politician of such experience as many counts to get over the line as was the case.
Granted, Cllr. O’Reilly being in the field would have detracted somewhat from the former legal professional’s first preference numbers. Probably the same can be said in respect of Gillian Toole.
The drop off in Deputy Byrne’s numbers is something, I think, power brokers within FF will want and need to look into. As they should about the party’s election strategies in general.
Now, it was a fine achievement by Micheal Martin et al to pluck Cynthia Ni Mhurchu from obscurity and get her elected to the European Parliament. But, unlike Fine Gael who threw one such dart and hit the bullseye in the guise of Nina Walsh, FF over-egged the celebrity pudding in fielding Grainne Seoige (Galway West) and Alison Comyn in Louth.
Because, absolutely in the case of the former, there have been rumblings about the party’s machine in the land of the Tribes for some time. Alienating Noel Thomas was wrong on several levels. Most fundamentally because, under the Fianna Fail banner he would have absolutely have taken a seat.
Whereas with the former newsreader also under starters orders, the danger of the vote being split was clear and present. As it was with Brendan Smith, Niamh Smyth and Robbie Gallagher in Cavan-Monaghan. Two out of three didn’t out to be too bad up there and indeed newcomer (To me anyway) Gallagher’s performance was such that there could be more than quite confidence that there would by prospects of him taking another seat at the next electoral cycle.
Except, that is, from the fact that surviving the gargantuan tallies, infinite counts, recounts and every twist and turn in the electoral race required every accoutrement in the above listed arsenal and then some. After all, even The Monk eventually ran out of steam after looking like he was going to break into the political scene and lift the last seat from under the nose of Labour’s Marie Sherlock.
Incidentally, on the subject of Gerry Hutch’s political aspirations, I know fine well some people were rubbed up to wrong way when misgivings were expressed as to the nature of the questioning by RTE’s playing catch up merchant, Paul Reynolds, of the Dublin Central candidate. However, I am not naive enough to think the less desirable side of Mr Hutch’s past can be brushed under the carpet, my point was that (i) Mr Reynolds seems to have an obsession with the individual,
(ii) the matters on which he was attempting to question Mr Hutch have already been dealt with by a court of law and are therefore there was no need to goad about them further.
And (iii) an addendum of sorts to the previous, if he wanted to press Mr Hutch further on said matters or others of a similar nature, the time and place to do so was not there. Was he just doing it where he knew he had an audience? Dying wasp indeed.
Anyway, enough of that bullsh**. The other seismic God send to emerge from Election ’24 was the virtual obliteration of the Green Party. Irish agriculture and agri-business relax and rejoice. You know, of absolutely numerous, the most annoying thing about the Greens is their obstinate hypocrisy. Those who are supposedly based on the championing of the countryside and the environment are the most anti farming rabble many of us have had the misfortune of encountering.
Cows will cause the end of the world. If not by their mere existence, then with their farts. Oh, but by the way, you can’t use chemical fertiliser either. We’ll have to cover our human sh*** in sugar shortly. Mind you, at least with Roderick The Creepy now a loan voice, calls for the culling of the national dairy herd – if not the bovine herd altogether – should be easier to drown out. If not, I don’t see why the French cannot by copied and Dublin headed for with dung spreaders and slurry tanks.
Regarding that whole area, though, whether it’s still Charlie McConalogue or whether the right thing is done and Helen is moved to the Dept. Of Agriculture or whomever ends up with the keys of Agriculture House, we just live in hope that they will be brave and gutsy enough to stand up to those who think they can bully us and bring about an end to the ridiculous, unwieldy, counterproductive slurry and dung spreading bans.
Anyone who thinks calendar farming is a doable thing obviously wouldn’t know a bee from a bull’s foot. Having said that, picking the lineout of the team cannot even by contemplated until the final panel is settled upon.
In other words, the party leaders need to get the lead out, sit down and thrash out a Programme For Government. I’d bloody type it up for them for €100. I would concur with Micheal Martin that, as the largest party, Fianna Fail should have first crack at forming a coalition.
Now, we know from past experience that he won’t have the balls to do what he should do – go in with Sinn Fein as the second highest number of seats. On the other hand, Fine Gael won’t want to go as the junior Government partner, and you can’t blame them for that.
So, if Martin is determined that his party lead the incoming administration, he either swallows his pride and says Hello Mary Lou, hello Taoiseach’s office, or negotiate with Labour, the Social Democrats and a cohort of agreeable Independents but such an amalgam would probably be considered too disparate.
Possibly the only certainty is there will be splinters from the fence before anything is sorted.
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