Whatever you’re having yourself

BRITISH & IRISH LIONS…29

AUSTRALIA…26

We’ve all seen television adverts over the years which stay in the consciousness long after it has outrun its commercial relevance. For me, the Bord Na Mona ad in which John Sheehan’s Marino Waltz featured will forever top any such list. But there are plenty of others. Like the Budweiser Christmas one with the Clydesdales or – at a time when the importance of agriculture was fully understood and appreciated in this country – the collaboration between then Galway hurler Joe Rabbitte and the late Micheal O’Muirceartaigh.

“Big Joe Rabbitte hurler and farmer scores with Ivomec pour-on” went the tag line. Back then, it was common to see various agriculture-related products advertised on TV. Like Golden Maverick milk replacer or the Irish Farmers Journal or Irish Fertiliser Industries (IFI) plugging their pasture sward or cut sward variety of product. Depending on the time of year.

The commercial clip showing a Massey Ferguson 290 – the useful but trouble prone yard tractor of the time, shaking out ‘bag’ with a Vicon wagtail spinner. At the time we thought nothing of it, but, there’s a generation now who, if asked to go and retrieve a litre of milk, would go looking for a cow’s nest!

Anyway, all the above was only opportunistically included as one’s mind was drawn to a former Sky Sports advert which was on the go not long after yours truly was afforded the incalculable lifeline that was getting a subscription to the rolling sports coverage provider in at home. It was obviously this time of the year too.

Because therein were clips like Stan Collymore’s sensational winner against Newcastle – when Kevin Keegan would’ve loved it if his charges had beaten the real United. Which of course they wouldn’t have if they were still there.

Mostly because Keegan’s team was populated by overrated bottlers. Chief Executive of which was that muppet Shearer.

Moreover, also in the clip was Jeremy Guscott kicking a winning drop goal for a British & Irish Lions ensemble against whom I think was Australia. Now, you could see from the utter delirium of those in and connected to the red jersey just what it meant to all concerned.

Forgive me if I’ve never reached the same levels of ecstacy. The gas thing is, the same folk who would nearly cry you a river on command about four countries beating one would obnoxiously snort – hopefully just air – at the notion of GAA players getting to represent their country in the International Rules Series.

Look, when some or all of Ireland, England, Scotland and Wales were crap, the idea of them clubbing up together and taking on one of South Africa, the All Blacks or Australia was a brilliant and very marketable one.

If you look at the picture now, though, South Africa, although thoroughly deserving world champions, are an ageing outfit, the veneer of invincibility has long slipped from those with the fern close to their hearts and the Wallabies have – prior to Saturday morning – been stuck in the state of flux associated with letting Eddie Jones near any team.

Only Joe Schmidt could rescue such a situation. As long as there are wheels conveying yours truly around this big old ball, I will never understand why the IRFU didn’t do more to hold onto the Westmeath man!

Regardless, just as he had previously done with Clermont, Leinster and Ireland (though less so in the latter case), he has turned a clueless, rudderless rabble into a potentially lethal force.

However, that can’t sugarcoat the fact that any of the Lion nations could beat any or all of those at the bottom of the world on a given day. You can probably throw Argentina in there too.

Like everything in life, mind you, there is another side to the story. The importance which Lions of the past place on the concept is wholly understandable. So, too, the coaches and players who, in turn, have carried on the tradition from whence it began generations ago.

You know, it’s most likely that I just can’t grasp the enormity of it. Which others have also said. However, where they wouldn’t give a toss about the International Rules, they would have the same enthusiastic excitement extolling of the virtues of Lions et al.

Whatever you’re having yourself I suppose. It’s all a matter of opinion. If you just strip it down to being a series of rugby matches, mind you, – shorn of the hype, hysteria and BSKYB-garnished nonsense, then the the appeal as an intriguing set of fixtures is a little easier to grasp.

Not, mind you, after the first test in Lang Park, Brisbane, as Andy Farrell’s combined side sauntered to a 27-19 victory. After which all of Australia – not the friendliest of races at the best of times – turned on their own as Joe Schmidt and his players were publicly excoriated. Not even having Harry Potter in their ranks could wizard up a bit of support for the embattled gold and green!

That said, whether it was down to raw pride or what, the barrage of admonishment obviously hit home at some level because the Wallabies were like men possessed when the two sides fronted up again a week later at the most famous sports venue in the world – the Melbourne Cricket Ground (MCG). Not before, that is, Dan Sheahan added another chapter to the similarities between himself and Keith Wood when touching down a five-pointer in the red jersey in the 15th minute.

Immediately thereafter however, the locals unleashed a spell of manic lunacy on their guests which resulted in James Slipper, Jake Gordon and Tom Wright Waltzing Matilda around the Lions’ whitewash and opening up a chasm of 5-23. All bets off and a tied Series? Hold that thought. If the concept of the Lions and all the lore and history that goes with it stood for anything, that was the time to let it do its thing.

And, in fairness, this writer has no problem eating humble pie and admitting to being left with a different mindset after being left pretty awestruck by what the amalgam produced for the remainder of the contest and brilliantly, highly significantly, even before half time. England’s Tom Curry and the very exciting Huw Jones of Scotland who – with the aid of Finn Russell’s boot – put another dozen points in Andy Farrell’s bank.

Then, Tadhg Beirne’s status as one of the finest exponents of craft on the planet got another shot in the arm when the big Kildare man crashed over halfway through the second half to leave homegrown asses dangling above the bacon slicer at 24-26 before – if you’ll forgive a bit of journalistic licence – with Ronan O’Gara in the commentary box – one couldn’t help but let the mind drift to comparisons with the red of Munster as the united nations went through phase after phase of pick and drive before Leinster’s own lion – in every sense of the word – Hugo Keenan reunited the egg shape with the White Rhino lime as the MCG erupted.

The discord which had erupted between this Aussie outfit and their public – though absolutely repaired with this heroic effort in defeat – still left room for an inclination that those backing the tourists handily outnumbered the locals in the gargantuan colosseum. Scotland’s Russell hooked his 82nd minute conversion wide on the near side, but nobody will give a damn about that now.

I’m not saying I’ll ever understand the hype, but the entertainment value certainly can’t be disputed. Yours, a semi-converted Lions fan.