Do not adjust your sets. This is not a drill. But nor does it change the fact that he was one of the biggest imposters to ever milk a living out of Old Trafford. Just as he is currently doing with Sky Sports. In a playing sense, such were his underwhelming contributions, that my late father and I christened him ‘Gary Backpass’, because, certainly when Manchester United were in their pomp, his only contributions appeared to be constantly passing the ball back to Peter Schmeichel.
There has to be at least one exception to every rule though. And lo and behold, I find myself agreeing with the Salford spoofer when he empathised with Liam Rosenior, the latest pawn in Chelsea’s wicked game. Which is even too wicked for Chris Isaac to write a song about it.
Though many, including yours truly, may not have thought this possible, it would appear that Todd Boley et al know even less about football than Abramovich. Believing ‘sack the manager’ is a one size fits all problem solver for their clubs whom they have bought into or bought out completely whilst knowing as much about football as a cow does about Bank Holidays!
Unfortunately the following is going to come across as condescending but it is meant to be anything but – you would have to feel somewhat sorry for Rosenior, he had obviously turned some heads to enter the Chelsea equation, but, just like Gary when he got the reins flung on his neck in Valencia, he was as far out of his depth as a two wheel drive tractor with a five furrow plough!
Not that there is ever a good time to lose your manager, but, this far down the home straight is an absolute sh*t show. Yet again, the admirable Callum McFarlane has been thrown into the breach.
You would think he’d be left in charge for whatever games are left this season. With a normal club, that wouldn’t even be a question. But, whatever else Chelsea Football Club might be, it is absolutely not normal.
Probably hasn’t been since the time Glenn Hoddle was player/manager there in early ’90s.
When imported foreign players were the exception rather than the rule. For instance, at the time to which I am referring, it could well have been the case that goalie Dmitri Kharine was the only non British or Irish starter for the blues.
Right, so the point could, with complete credance, be made that Chelsea (and many others) were mid table mediocre before the influx of outside managers, players and owners facelifted the state of the game all over the world.
The most damning upshot of which was that trigger happy boardroom management and throwing the chequebook at everything became the WD-40 of football management. Spray over the cracks, keep the engine running but know that putting lipstick on a pig doesn’t stop it being a porcine species.
It’s hardly coincidence that Manchester City and – though some of their own fans mightn’t even accept it – Arsenal have been so consistently competitive because they have Pep Guardiola and Mikel Arteta respectively in situ for elongated periods and the continuity and cohesiveness that brings.
Then, contrast that to, for example, the red half of Manchester, where, since Fergie gave up the chewing gum 13 years ago, there have been more changes on the bench in his stead than in the High Court.
Though as drastic as that might seem, in the same period, there have been more managerial manouvres at Stamford Bridge than Enoch Burke has had court days!
There might be a similar queue for the Chelsea job as there would be to work with that tempestuous lot.
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